Danger Man
A beginners guide.
To fully appreciate and get the best service out of your DM you
must observe the following guidelines:
1. NEVER speak to another member of any department outside of QC
about anything work related. This will enrage DM to the point of
screaming level, he will assume they have a problem, and will
further assume that you are about to waste eons of precious time
correcting, consoling, perplexing about what they are saying.
2. NEVER speak to another member of any department outside of QC
about anything non-work related. This will enrage DM to the point
of screaming level, he will assume they have a problem, and will
further assume that you are about to waste eons of precious time
correcting, consoling, perplexing about what they are saying.
3. NEVER speak to another member of QC about anything work related.
He will assume he can help and that all other valid comments from
others are complete boulderdash, needless to say, if he feels that
others are helping too much, or that you don`t appreciate his help
he will be enraged to screaming point.
4. NEVER speak to another member of QC about anything non-work
related. He will assume that you don`t have any work and will
proceed to delegate work. He will also be enraged to screaming
point.
5. NEVER make a mistake, he WILL be very enraged, he will throw
tantrums and his blood will boil. Be prepared to be fired, be
scared and be TAUGHT AGAIN the RIGHT way to do what you did wrong.
6. NEVER crack a joke when busy, you will be engulfed with
exploding particles of DM. Inversly, never not crack a joke when
busy, he will assume that you are not able to cope with the stress
and proceed to explode into fits of pen throwing, file slamming,
foot stamping tantrums. BE VERY WARNED.
7. NEVER approch HIM with a problem, he will undoubtedly erupt with
a force unknown since the big bang, If you can`t solve the problem
yourself; YOU are incompetent NEVER EVER assume you havn`t been
shown or taught properly. Inversly FOR CHRIST`S SAKE NEVER even
think about not approching him with a problem, HE WILL BE
EXCEPTIONALLY ENRAGED to the point of death to think that you can`t
ask for help.
8.FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER...
Dare to even dare to think of taking time off work, For this
offence even death would seem too good an option, HE WILL GO
*-*BALLISTIC*-* to the insane point of opening up an
interdimensional worm hole into which all of time, space and the
thought of existance will cease to even have been dreamt of.
9. If in doubt DON`T even be in doubt. (he will be hopping)
10. PLEASE don`t tell him he has a call, a message, a problem or
even that he is right. HE WILL automatically uncontrollable want to
implode. IF THIS HAPPENS everything you cherished will cease to be
as the cascade event of a supanova rips through the very fabric of
your soul.
11. If you fail to give him a message, tell him of a call or
otherwise do none of the above. TAKE cover. Death definatly will
come from above.
12. Always laugh at his jibes, jokes, or puns. Failing this he will
find reason to victimise you. YOU ARE DEAD, As per usual, The
inverse of this statement also applies, its your own decision which
statement to follow